1. To more easily imagine that you are a character in Bleak House.
2. As winter warmers.
3. Come spring, they go very well with Fred Perrys.
4. As a late-blooming rite of passage, just when you think there are none left.
5. To save time shaving.
6. To diminish the size of ears.
7. To give the impression when wearing a woolly hat of having lots of hair underneath it.
8. To look out of time.
9. To have friends ask, ‘what’s with the lamb chops?’
10. To remind yourself in future years how much better it is not to sport sideburns.